Trip to my Motherland

by Yuliya
(Turkey)

Last month I went on vacation to my parents to Ukraine by plane. There we have spent a very good time. As the weather is more colder in Ukraine than in Turkey we were wearing coats for all time we were there.Some days were very cold and windy that's why we stayed at home watching TV and cooking dinner for all family.

Other days we visited cinema and playing bowuling while our parents were drinking a hot capuccino. Also, I met with my old friends and we went to the Japanese restaraunt with them. There we were eating sushi while music played and talking about old days we spent before.

All in all, I spent amazing time with my parents and old friends but I missed so much the weather and relatives and especially my husband in Turkey. Furthermore, I can say for sure that I have two motherlands, Ukraine and Turkey, and I am very happy for that.

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Last month I went on vacation to visit my parents to in Ukraine. We flew there by plane by plane. There we have spent a very good time. We had a very good time there. As the weather it is more colder in Ukraine than in Turkey, we were wearing wore coats for all the entire time we were there. Some days were very cold and windy and that's, why we stayed at home watching TV and cooking dinner for all the entire family.


Other days we visited went to the cinema and playing went bowling while our parents were drinking a hot cappuccinos. Also, I met with my old friends and we went to the a Japanese restaurant with them. There we were eating ate sushi while music played and talking talked about the good old days we spent before.

All in all, I spent had an amazing time with my parents and old friends but I missed so much the weather, my relatives and especially my husband in Turkey so much. Furthermore, I can honestly say for sure that I have two motherlands; Ukraine and Turkey, and for this I am very happy for that.

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Hi Yuliya,

Great work! Don't be discouraged about all the bold and lines. Your story was done very well. It takes a lot of confidence to write a story and then have someone correct it (especially a stranger) so I would like to congratulate you!

I have 5 tips for you to focus on for the next writing assignment. I hope that you will do the next one so that we can work together to improve your writing!

Have a wonderful day Yuliya!
You should be proud of yourself!

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Tip #1: Try to keep your sentences simple. I separated "by plane" from your first sentence and added another sentence so that the idea of flying is expressed on its own.

Tip #2: Be careful with your past tense. You wouldn't say we have had a good time there because you are no longer there. You would put it in the "simple past", we had a good time there.

Tip #3: Colder is the comparative form of cold, so you don't need to use more.

Tip #4: I changed the restaurant to a restaurant. You use "the" when it is specific and "a" when it is general. I assumed that this was just a random restaurant.

Tip #5: When you use "so much" it should come at the end of the sentence. I loved your gift so much. I appreciated you sending in this story so much.


Back to the writing lessons.